My dad is suffering from stage IV stomach cancer and the conventional chemotherapy show no effects on the remaining tumors. He had his stomach removed about 6 months ago but the cancer has already spread and is growing.
Having to watch your love one to slowly wither away, going through all the sufferings at the same time and maintaining hope, faith is not easy. The things you once thought possible, stuff you took for granted, words that you wished you never said or have said.... forces you to rethink many things in life...
Now I can only pray, I'm not a religious person but I do believe in God and the forces of nature. But if my dad was to be taken away from me, I hope I will find the strength to pull this family together and to cherish each day with my dad. Please let a miracle happen...
Monday, March 26, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
NOT FOR SALE Concert!
Got to know of this concert online via Clara C's facebook page and for $5 I get to help stop human trafficking as well as to watch the whole concert live? It was totally worth it, with artistes like Clara C, Jayseelee and Boyce Avenue, I had a great time watching the whole 4 hour concert at the comfort of my room.
It's also the first time where I watched a full concert through streaming, minus the crowd, the standing and sweating, the crazy queues to get snacks and drinks... its kinda relaxing but I would love to feel the live feeling! Anyway, just got to know that another concert featuring YouTube stars is gonna be held here in Singapore at Resort World Sentosa, Hard Rock Cafe!! The ticket sales just started today and I really feel like going... Chance to see David Choi !! Finally after missing the opportunities in the past years! yay!
It's also the first time where I watched a full concert through streaming, minus the crowd, the standing and sweating, the crazy queues to get snacks and drinks... its kinda relaxing but I would love to feel the live feeling! Anyway, just got to know that another concert featuring YouTube stars is gonna be held here in Singapore at Resort World Sentosa, Hard Rock Cafe!! The ticket sales just started today and I really feel like going... Chance to see David Choi !! Finally after missing the opportunities in the past years! yay!
Friday, March 16, 2012
The big question in life
I have this friend who I like to share and discuss stuffs in life, sometimes we would debate into the night and arguing sometimes on who is right and wrong. And tonight is one of those night, where my friend left me feeling all emotional and requiring a place to vent it out. =) Recently, my dad just gotten really sick and that made me really pondered into life and the meaning of life. Being raised up in a traditional Asian and not to mention Singapore environment, it was taught that meritocracy was the way to success in life and I think Singapore is as competitive as a society can get in the world.
Growing up in a place like this might bring out certain traits in you, the instinct to survive, the desire for success and to always remain competitive among your peers. People are always comparing here, from grades when we were young, schools that we go to, salaries that we earn, size of house we stay in, places we go for holiday and etc. So I wonder sometimes, whether these materialistic gains and measures of success adds up to our meaning in life? I might be naive and maybe foolish to think otherwise, but I'm sure I'm not alone.
Have our society and education system been churning out minds out of molds? Personally I felt like I did came out of one, being born in a not too well to do family, I was told that studying hard was the key to everything. I didn't really pondered too much in other aspects of my life at a younger age, I just grow up thinking that education was everything, to do well in exams is the only worry in life. A good PSLE will give me a good place in secondary school and a good O' levels will get me a good place in Junior College and finally, the end of the day, a good A' levels will get me a good place in the local university. Till this date, I am still studying, studying has become more of a technique then a desire for knowledge. Some point in time, I have ceased to think for myself and I was in fact thinking for "my future" in the society's point of view.
This is by no means a fault of the society or education system, to push the blame of my failure to that would be totally irresponsible and silly of me. I find it's all about choices at the end of the day, we were warned when we were young that pursuing an arts education in Singapore would be useless, we were warned that the other paths other then the "straight path to success" would be difficult. BUT we are not stopped to go ahead with those options. Slowly I start to realize that the past 20 years or so I was too lazy or perhaps, too scared to decide on my own. I wanted to follow the crowd as much as possible and stay with the front of the pack as closely as possible. Which is why when the time has come where I can no longer "follow" and I need to decide for myself, I became lost and bewildered...
So was the meaning of my life so far something that I discovered or bestowed upon? The answer to me is quite obvious... and I need to start looking and searching now. I wonder sometimes if my fellow friends have thought of or found this meaning in their lives as well. They seemed to be already settled down and in full pursuit of the career of their choices. I do envy their success and the kind of salaries that they earn. But I am looking for something that is even bigger than that, something that brings me joy even if it doesn't pays me anything. It might take some time, but I have to walk down memory lane and start revisiting places that I used to enjoy and start to think... All the stuffs and the way I envisioned the world should lead me in finding it, like a movie line I recently watched in "Hugo", Dreams are made up of the materials of our day to day life, the stuff that matters or caught our interests builds up to form our meaning and passion sub-consciously.
I should leave this as it is from here, as it's time for me to dream again. A part of me have been awoken by this self-discovery, and I think it's just the tip of the iceberg. The real journey is still unplanned, undecided and full of surprises. To me, the real meaning of life is the discovery of self and to honor it by staying true to it. I might not be able to put it into exact words now, but someday, hopefully I can better explain this feeling.
Growing up in a place like this might bring out certain traits in you, the instinct to survive, the desire for success and to always remain competitive among your peers. People are always comparing here, from grades when we were young, schools that we go to, salaries that we earn, size of house we stay in, places we go for holiday and etc. So I wonder sometimes, whether these materialistic gains and measures of success adds up to our meaning in life? I might be naive and maybe foolish to think otherwise, but I'm sure I'm not alone.
Have our society and education system been churning out minds out of molds? Personally I felt like I did came out of one, being born in a not too well to do family, I was told that studying hard was the key to everything. I didn't really pondered too much in other aspects of my life at a younger age, I just grow up thinking that education was everything, to do well in exams is the only worry in life. A good PSLE will give me a good place in secondary school and a good O' levels will get me a good place in Junior College and finally, the end of the day, a good A' levels will get me a good place in the local university. Till this date, I am still studying, studying has become more of a technique then a desire for knowledge. Some point in time, I have ceased to think for myself and I was in fact thinking for "my future" in the society's point of view.
This is by no means a fault of the society or education system, to push the blame of my failure to that would be totally irresponsible and silly of me. I find it's all about choices at the end of the day, we were warned when we were young that pursuing an arts education in Singapore would be useless, we were warned that the other paths other then the "straight path to success" would be difficult. BUT we are not stopped to go ahead with those options. Slowly I start to realize that the past 20 years or so I was too lazy or perhaps, too scared to decide on my own. I wanted to follow the crowd as much as possible and stay with the front of the pack as closely as possible. Which is why when the time has come where I can no longer "follow" and I need to decide for myself, I became lost and bewildered...
So was the meaning of my life so far something that I discovered or bestowed upon? The answer to me is quite obvious... and I need to start looking and searching now. I wonder sometimes if my fellow friends have thought of or found this meaning in their lives as well. They seemed to be already settled down and in full pursuit of the career of their choices. I do envy their success and the kind of salaries that they earn. But I am looking for something that is even bigger than that, something that brings me joy even if it doesn't pays me anything. It might take some time, but I have to walk down memory lane and start revisiting places that I used to enjoy and start to think... All the stuffs and the way I envisioned the world should lead me in finding it, like a movie line I recently watched in "Hugo", Dreams are made up of the materials of our day to day life, the stuff that matters or caught our interests builds up to form our meaning and passion sub-consciously.
I should leave this as it is from here, as it's time for me to dream again. A part of me have been awoken by this self-discovery, and I think it's just the tip of the iceberg. The real journey is still unplanned, undecided and full of surprises. To me, the real meaning of life is the discovery of self and to honor it by staying true to it. I might not be able to put it into exact words now, but someday, hopefully I can better explain this feeling.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I'm a real life "Lazy College Senior" meme
I'm think the "Lazy college senior" meme really describes my attitude towards my final semester in masters program... Every time I'm give a deadline, I would just start to panic or doing it like 1-2 days before.... o_O and during that mad rush period I will be like cursing and swearing to myself for not starting it earlier....
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Banana~~~Can't wait for 2013 for Despicable me 2!
I think it would be fun to gather some friends and sing this song + doing the dance in this trailer. XD hoping to see some real life version soon. Enjoy~ and may this song be stuck in your head till 2013!
*Lyrics*
Bababaa.. babanana.. bababaa. babanana... *bananaaa... potatonaaa... bananaaa... tokakiyo potatoyi kayimalomani kano cica babaa babananaaa* *yuh planofu! la planonufu! maa banana lakano pitalamo bananaaa babaa babananaaa.. potatooo.. tokakiyo potatoli kayimalomani kano cica babaa babananaaaaaaaaaa* *punch!*
*Lyrics*
Bababaa.. babanana.. bababaa. babanana... *bananaaa... potatonaaa... bananaaa... tokakiyo potatoyi kayimalomani kano cica babaa babananaaa* *yuh planofu! la planonufu! maa banana lakano pitalamo bananaaa babaa babananaaa.. potatooo.. tokakiyo potatoli kayimalomani kano cica babaa babananaaaaaaaaaa* *punch!*
Banana~~~~
5 Days of War
Just caught "5 days of war" and it's about this story of 5 (or mainly 2) war journalists that tried to capture footage of the Georgia war in 2008. Reviews seemed to be saying that it's propaganda in support of Georgia and that not all facts were presented as they should have been, Georgia was in the wrong as well etc etc....
But I would prefer to shove all that aside and say that it's a pretty entertaining show. Loved the scenes of Georgia, the effects were believable and I felt Andy Garcia did a great job as the President of Georgia too!
Trailer for 5 days of war.
I will give it 3.5/5 stars and I think it's not good enough to fight the on going award winning films (Iron lady, Hugo, The Artist) that are still showing... watch it if you like me have ran out of options on a lazy weekend afternoon.
But I would prefer to shove all that aside and say that it's a pretty entertaining show. Loved the scenes of Georgia, the effects were believable and I felt Andy Garcia did a great job as the President of Georgia too!
Trailer for 5 days of war.
I will give it 3.5/5 stars and I think it's not good enough to fight the on going award winning films (Iron lady, Hugo, The Artist) that are still showing... watch it if you like me have ran out of options on a lazy weekend afternoon.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Working on a new project...
Having being inspired by wongfu productions and various other YouTube vids last year. I have always wanted to try making some short clips and share with people.
I do not have a clue how should I go about doing it, I don't really think I have much videoing instruments at hand except for a PnS Canon Ixus 330hs that can shoot in HD + a 3 year old Pentax kx with some old lenses...
I have no idea how to get the sound right, nor taken any courses related to filming, editing and similar stuff... I just want to try it out as a new hobby and probably try in writing my own scripts or stories...
Sounds like a lot of stuff to pick up and that's been the main reason it took me so long to even get started... there just seemed a list of things that I felt previously not possible... But after going to wongfu's show on tuesday, I guess things can be simple and possible if you want it to be. So I'm just going to start thinking and improvise along the way if I have to...
First up... writing stories and scripts... yeah... sounds like a good place to start.... wish me luck in this journey, I have failed numerous times in other decisions or goals I set out (like maintaining a blog)... so I won't be too harsh on myself on this one too, like many others, I'm just an explorer on this world, set out to discover myself...
Into the unknown and new discoveries~~ ^^
I do not have a clue how should I go about doing it, I don't really think I have much videoing instruments at hand except for a PnS Canon Ixus 330hs that can shoot in HD + a 3 year old Pentax kx with some old lenses...
I have no idea how to get the sound right, nor taken any courses related to filming, editing and similar stuff... I just want to try it out as a new hobby and probably try in writing my own scripts or stories...
Sounds like a lot of stuff to pick up and that's been the main reason it took me so long to even get started... there just seemed a list of things that I felt previously not possible... But after going to wongfu's show on tuesday, I guess things can be simple and possible if you want it to be. So I'm just going to start thinking and improvise along the way if I have to...
First up... writing stories and scripts... yeah... sounds like a good place to start.... wish me luck in this journey, I have failed numerous times in other decisions or goals I set out (like maintaining a blog)... so I won't be too harsh on myself on this one too, like many others, I'm just an explorer on this world, set out to discover myself...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)